It Is Illogical, But It Is Love
by HannahMCR
Summary: Kirk and Spock are finally together. They fight and disagree, but they are firmly in love. This story will be a mass of ficlets focusing on their relationship. Warnings: Slash and sexual situations. Will be more M rated in later chapters. Drinking. Fluff.
1. Chapter 1

It Is Illogical, But It Is Love

_(AN: My first Kirk/Spock, and my first Star Trek Slash in general! Going to be a chapter fic; see end AN for more information.)_

When Kirk was 'nursing a grudge,' as the good Doctor liked to say, usually Spock was left alone on the bridge, and alone at night. Their relationship had only recently taken on a…intimate quality, but Spock had become used to Jim's body next to his, even if he did tend to steal the bedspread. It was their first major altercation since Doctor McCoy had come looking for Kirk and found him with a mouth full of Spock, and then proceeded to broadcast it all over the ship. Kirk had been relieved; Spock had been darkly angry (he hadn't felt this bad since pon farr). He'd tried to explain, in as few words as possible, while searching for Doctor McCoy – who refused to come to the bridge when Spock called him – that Vulcans were highly private creatures, and that he did not enjoy having his private sexual matters in the public domain, as it were. That had led to Kirk nearly going into hysterics, accusing Spock of not loving him enough, because he didn't want anyone to know. Generally, before and after their budding relationship, Jim would cease his inane ramblings at one eyebrow raise, but when Spock tried it, Jim had simply spun around and left. Spock had headed up to the bridge, where he finally caught and chastised Doctor McCoy, to check that everything was in order. He left the com to Sulu and went to look for his Captain, only to find the door locked, and him not answering calls. That night, he slept alone for the first time in several weeks, and refused to give name to the feeling in his stomach, and the fact that he couldn't fall asleep for a very long time. Spock had been pleasantly surprised when Kirk had opened up his door the next morning and acted as if nothing had happened. Spock had been possessive that night, and Kirk loved it.

!*!*!*!

But this was different. Their fight had been silly, really – inane at best. Kirk wanted Spock to move all of his things into his bedroom, and to _stay_, even though he still slept there every night they weren't fighting. Their tumultuous relationship was too young for full on commitment yet, and Spock's excuse was that he needed a private space – he was perfectly willing to share Jim's bed, and he didn't want that to end, for all of his feigned indifference that Kirk saw right through, but he needed a place of his own. Kirk had immediately flared up, hurt, and had tried to fall asleep without talking to Spock any longer. When Spock had questioned him, Kirk had done his best to throw Spock out, naked as he was. Thankfully, he had waited until the Vulcan had dressed to order him out of his room and slam the door in his face.

Spock knew that Jim's anger was best left to dissolve in peace, so he left the corridor for his own room, where he again had the unpleasant feeling of the empty space next to him, and the shakiness of his own stomach.

The next morning, his Captain was on the bridge, despite Spock's doubts otherwise. However, he seemed to still be upset, for when he saw Spock coming, he deliberately turned his head. Spock inclined his, and moved away. The Captain left him the com with an impersonal tone, and stepped into the elevator with dignity.

Spock took a seat in the Captain's chair, noting with displeasure the crumbs on the seat – a sure sign that Jim had been eating here again. He made some quick questions, and everyone's answers were short and average.

Doctor McCoy, who, when he had no work to do, often migrated up to the bridge to poke fun at Spock and chat with Kirk, did indeed appear. Spock had, for the most part, forgiven him for his large part in the publicizing of his relationship with the Captain, and the two were back to their old selves – in other words, teasing one another with insults not meant to hurt.

McCoy leaned against the railing behind Spock. "What's got Jim's knickers in a twist?"

"I can assure you that I have no idea of what is upsetting the Captain."

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Spock, if you didn't have anything to do with it, then I'm not a doctor."

"As you are not in the sickbay, I would question your medical status, _Mr. _McCoy."

McCoy refused to rise to the jibe. "So, what's up with our dear Captain, then?"

"The Captain is in a bad humor this morning."

"I know _that_, you pointy-eared son of a bitch, but _why_?"

"Doctor, I don't know if that is any of your business."

McCoy leaned closer. "Listen up, you…"

"May I suggest not wasting your breath with any more insults about my Vulcan heritage?"

He growled slightly at Spock's raised eyebrow. "Listen. You hurt Jim, I hurt you. That's all I've got to say."

"Doctor McCoy, if I may add something."

The Doctor shrugged and leaned back.

Spock raised one eyebrow and lowered his voice. "I can assure you that I have no interest in hurting Jim. He and I had a slight…altercation last night, and the Captain has not forgiven me yet."

"What about?"

"That's private, Doctor."

"I might be able to help."

Spock raised both eyebrows. "I don't believe so."

"Come on, Spock. I'll just go ask Jim, and he'll spill the beans anyway."

Spock sighed. "If I must, then I will not say it on the bridge." He stood. "Mr. Sulu, you have the com."

Spock and McCoy got into the elevator, and Spock asked for the deck with the Captain's quarters. He then turned to McCoy. "Jim wished that I move all of my things into his room, and presumably board mine up. I mentioned that I needed a private space, and I may have alluded to the fact that we fight quite a bit, and that I did not wish to have to sleep on the bridge when he kicked me out. Upon which, he kicked me out."

McCoy chuckled slightly. "Spock, for such a genius, you can be so stupid sometimes."

"Doctor, there is no need for insults."

"You unemotional Vulcan…just move in with Jim already. For God's sake."

"I don't understand, Doctor."

"Go get your stuff right now. Knock on Kirk's door. Put it in his room. Kiss the bastard. Sulu's got the com; you two can have some time." McCoy greatly enjoyed the darkening green of Spock's face as they stepped out of the elevator.

"What assurance is there the Captain will even open the door?"

"Spock, I don't know how you miss it, but Kirk watches your every move. You knock on his door, he'll let you in, fight or not."

"Perhaps, Doctor. Now, you ought to get back to the sickbay."

McCoy rolled his eyes, but stepped back in the elevator. "Sickbay."

Spock stood for a moment, and then headed down to his room.

!*!*!*!

He made an interesting sight, holding a large bag in each hand and trying to buzz the Captain. He was greatly relieved when Kirk opened the door.

Kirk immediately went back inside, but he left his door open, so Spock followed him. He set his bags down and shot a look at Kirk, who had sat down on his bed with his hands over his eyes. Spock sent a disapproving glance at the bottle of amber liquid, which on closer inspection, was brandy.

"Jim, you know what brandy does to you."

He groaned. "What are you doing here?"

"As you can see – or perhaps not, because you are covering your eyes – I've brought my bags."

"McCoy talked you into it."

"Captain, I assure you that McCoy has no authority to force me into doing anything."

"Don't call me Captain."

"Jim, this conversation is going nowhere." His Captain continued to cover his eyes.

Spock sighed. "Jim." He sat down next to his lover. "Do you remember…the time you had a sore back and Yeoman started rubbing it, and you thought it was me?" Jim groaned. "What about the time you and Doctor tried to teach me to sing campfire songs? I know you remember 'Please, Captain – not in front of the Klingons.'" Jim turned over. Spock's voice softened. "What about when I died?"

Kirk sat up. "Don't talk about that."

"What about when _you_ nearly died?"

"Which time?"

"With Miri."

Jim sighed, and leaned back against his headboard.

"What about when I nearly married T'Pring, and nearly killed you in trying?"

Jim opened his eyes. "I remember, Spock, now what are you getting at?"

"Two people who have gone through so much together…have a special bond. Perhaps I'm not the best at showing that bond. I apologize."

"Spock, just say it."

"Captain, there is no doubt-"

"Don't say Captain."

"_Jim_, there is no doubt in my mind that I…that I do…love you."

Jim's smile was worth the awkward moment. "I love you too, Spock." He sighed, but he was starting to sound happier. "I appreciate you saying so. I know it's rough."

"On the other hand, Jim – it may be the truest thing I have ever said."

When Kirk leaned up to Spock, Spock hurried and beat him to it – he captured Jim's lips softly. His Captain pulled the Vulcan closer to him, and Spock let him. Jim seemed almost desperate.

"Captain, relax. I'm not going to disappear."

Jim pulled away from Spock for a minute, already flushed and nearly begging. "Who's got the com?"

"Sulu."

"So we've got a few minutes?"

"I think they can avoid a crisis without us for once. Besides, I'm sure the good Doctor is telling everyone what's going on." Kirk got up for a drink, and tripped over Spock's bags. "Perhaps this time would be better spent unpacking. Our tryst can wait till tonight."

Jim drained one glass of brandy and handed Spock a tube. "Screw that. I won't make it that long."

"I wouldn't dare make you wait, Jim."

"You wouldn't make it either."

"Likely not."

Kirk sat back down in front of Spock. "I'm sorry for going crazy the other night."

"It's alright, Captain."

"I didn't mean to push you."

"I understand." Jim's shirt rode up as he stretched, and Spock swallowed heavily. Kirk noticed the look, and grinned.

"Perhaps talking ought to be saved for later."

"I couldn't agree more, Jim." Spock pounced on Kirk, who let himself go. "We'll have to work on not fighting anymore. I…can no longer sleep alone."

"I didn't get a wink of sleep last night." Kirk twisted under Spock's hands.

"I don't suppose you'd like to sleep instead?"

"Sleep?" Jim was breathless and shirtless and reaching up for Spock. "Spock, there's time for sleeping – this is not one of them. Stop being such a tease."

"Captain, I can assure you that I don't know what you're talking about."

Jim felt Spock in every cell of his body, and Spock wasn't even shirtless yet. "Get on with it, Spock."

Spock paused in the middle of lifting his shirt over his head. "Captain, you don't want to savor it?"

Jim was breathless at the sight of the few inches of Spock's chest. "Spock, there's times for savoring and times for fucking me as hard as you can!"

Spock thought as he undressed. When he had been speaking of a bond earlier, he meant it. He – and Jim, he presumed – knew that they wouldn't be happy without their other half. It didn't mean they wouldn't fight, but it did mean that they were obviously meant for each other. To make Spock aroused took something that Jim had – to make him fall in love took something more, but Jim had that too.

As Jim captured his lips again, Spock's stomach finally stopped flipping, and he calmed down.

!*!*!*!

Kirk knew every inch of Spock's body, but he never got tired of it. When the two of them began to dress, he watched all of that wonderful green skin be covered up, and he commented on what a shame it was to hide it. He greatly relished the green blush that spread over the back of Spock's neck.

"Captain, what would the rest of the crew say if I stayed undressed on the bridge?"

"I'd never get any work done, for one thing. And neither would the girls."

Spock raised an eyebrow, and waited for Kirk to dress. He knew that body just as well as Kirk knew his. Before Kirk could pull his undershirt on, Spock stopped him – he touched one bite over Kirk's heart. "Perhaps I was too rough."

"We were both out of our minds, Spock – it's called love."

!*!*!*!

_(AN: I imagine that this story will have other chapters – short ficlets that are the same universe as this story, but that don't have a particular story arc. It's just my story of Kirk and Spock in love. For the people who liked this, and want to see the next chapters, here's a little preview: crossdressing!Kirk. I also imagine it'll get more M rated. I hope you enjoyed! Please read/review/add to alerts/watch for new chapters! Tell me what you thought!)_


	2. Chapter 2

It Is Illogical, But It Is Love

Chapter 2

_(AN: Two requests that will make more sense at the end of the chapter: Send someone this way who will draw something for me, and go listen to John, I'm Only Dancing by David Bowie – it will make the next chapter make so much more sense.)_

Spock stood very formally next to Jim as the last few members of the crew beamed down for shore leave. However, the formality was ruined by Dr. McCoy's thinly veiled innuendoes and Kirk's hand spending far too long on Spock's. Spock knew better than to protest with Jim, but he attempted to get the doctor to stop. He really should have known better.

Kirk grinned as McCoy and the others disappeared with one last shout. "The _Enterprise_ is all ours, Spock. What do you want to do?"

"Captain, I must take a short trip down to the planet as well. There was an interesting energy sequence emanating there. Quite likely nothing, but worth checking out." Spock saw the slight falling of his captain's face in the same way Jim saw Spock relax whenever he kissed him. "Jim, it's just for a short time."

"Spock, we're on shore leave."

"Jim, you are notorious for whining." He picked up his tricorder and stood on the transporter. "Kindly beam me down to the planet, Captain."

"What if I refuse?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Then I will put the sequence in myself."

Kirk sighed. "Fine. Just don't be gone too long, alright?"

"Of course not, Captain."

Right as Spock began to disappear, Jim called out loudly. "Buy some brandy while you're down there!"

Spock raised an eyebrow when he shimmered in, and started looking for the energy sequence.

!*!*!*!

Exactly 30.2 minutes later, Spock had located the sequence and surmised its cause – a benign issue, nothing to worry about – and was walking down the main street of the small town on the alien planet the _Enterprise _had taken shore leave on.

He was not surprised to meet Scotty, Chekov and Dr. McCoy in the little liquor store; they were, however, very surprised to see him. As he paid for Jim's brandy, already cringing internally at what Jim would be like tomorrow morning once he was hungover, McCoy and the others came up next to him.

"Spock, I didn't know you drank." McCoy's accent was thicker when he was drunk. Scotty and Chekov were too busy pointing out women on the street to each other to bother with Spock at the moment.

"I do not, Doctor, and I would think it best the three of you ought not to as well." Spock raised an eyebrow at the three men's attempt to decipher that sentence.

"I get drunk on shore leave only, Spock – you wanna talk about who shouldn't get drunk, talk to Jim."

"Doctor, it says something about you that it has been barely a half hour, and you are already nearly incoherently drunk."

By the time Bones had realized he'd been insulted, Spock was gone.

!*!*!*!

As he signaled up to the ship, Sulu answered. He waited until he stepped off the transporter to ask him what he was doing there.

Sulu was already preparing to depart. "I just forgot my wallet, Mr. Spock – I came back up just a minute after you left. The Captain hadn't even left the room yet."

"Where is the Captain now?"

"I haven't seen him since he left, right after I got here."

Spock inclined his head in thanks, and went to look for Jim.

!*!*!*!

He knew by this point that Jim didn't care whether he knocked or not, so he simply went into their room.

He put the brandy bottle down on the table and looked around, not seeing his Captain. He took a seat in a straight-backed chair he had brought in – the captain preferred cushioned armchairs – and waited.

!*!*!*!

A few moments later, the door to Kirk's private bathroom whooshed open, and he stepped out. When he spotted Spock – who was more shocked than he thought Jim could ever make him – they both froze.

!*!*!*!

Jim, suddenly ashamed of himself, pulled on the hem of the red woman's uniform he was wearing. Spock stood up and circled Jim, raising his eyebrow but saying nothing. When Jim tried to retreat into the bathroom, Spock put a hand on his chest (which left the uniform rather empty).

"Captain…Perhaps your attire would make more sense in context. Care to explain?"

Jim shrugged his shoulders. Spock brushed his hand against his Captain's red cheeks.

"Jim, I do not think less of you." Jim smiled slightly, and Spock brushed his cheeks again. "If anything, I am amused."

Jim looked into Spock's eyes for the first time since coming out of the bathroom. "Thought you might get mad at me." His voice was low.

Spock heard so much in those few words, and tipped Jim's face back for a kiss. "Jim, while I prefer you in pants – or perhaps without – what you choose to do is your choice."

Jim was flushed from the kiss. "Didn't really choose to do anything. It just sorta…happened."

"Jim, I hate to ask, but are you drunk?"

He bit his lip. "If I was drunk, I wouldn't be so damn embarrassed."

Spock raised an eyebrow and took his hand off the back of Kirk's neck, where it had stayed since the kiss. He moved over the uniform, stopping at the low neckline first.

Jim chuckled. "Chest hair kinda makes it look different than it's supposed to, doesn't it?"

"It's more the lack of an anatomical feature that makes the biggest impression."

Spock's hand dipped over the sleeves, which were cut for arms thinner than Jim's. His wrists stuck out farther than they ought to as well.

Jim tried to pull them down. "Whoever's uniform this is, they're tiny."

Spock kneeled in front of Kirk, causing him to swallow deeply. He ran his fingers around the hemline.

Spock sent a glance up at Jim when he discovered something. "Jim, no underwear?"

Jim was blushing again. He mumbled something about the dress being too short, and his boxers being too long.

Spock's fingers stayed a moment longer at the hem, then he stood in one fluid motion. "Jim, as…interesting as this outfit is, I'd prefer you without it."

Jim grinned. "That can be arranged."

Spock smiled back. "First, perhaps we ought to go get McCoy and the others out of the bar before they do something they regret."

Jim frowned. "Why? If they do something, it's their fault."

"But you, as their captain, will have to answer for it, and the excuse that you were busy with your first officer will not hold up in court, Captain." He smirked.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Captain when we're alone?"

"Obviously a few more yet, Captain."

Kirk sat down. He tried to pull the hem of his dress down. "So, where's Bones?"

As Spock was about to answer, the door to Kirk's room opened.

McCoy stepped in.

He looked at Kirk. He looked at the dress. He looked at Spock.

He spun around and walked out the door.

Jim's face was much redder than it had been when Spock had come in.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "You never know, Captain – he may be so drunk he won't remember this."

Kirk spotted the brandy bottle and poured himself a glass, immediately throwing it back and pouring another.

!*!*!*!

When Spock was standing in sickbay with his Captain, who was vomiting and fighting his wicked hangover, McCoy came in.

He remembered.

So Spock not only had to deal with Jim vomiting everywhere, he had to listen to Dr. McCoy yell at Jim for several minutes about how scarred for life he was.

Perhaps the two of them would retire. McCoy would never follow them, and then it might be _quiet_.

Jim would never go for that.

So Spock just rubbed Jim's back slowly as he vomited, and Dr. McCoy finally shut up when Jim yelled at him between retches, and Spock slowly calmed down.

He did refuse to kiss Kirk until he used some mouthwash.

_(AN: If anyone here really loves me and this story, they'll send someone this way who can draw. I need to see Kirk dressed like this, especially with Spock kneeling in front of him! Next chapter hint: Perhaps a 'John, I'm Only Dancing' songfic? Any David Bowie fans out there? It's such a fucking killer song. I highly recommend it, even if you only do it to be prepared for my next chapter. Well, anyway, please review and be on the lookout for the next chapter!)_


	3. Chapter 3

It Is Illogical, But It Is Love

Chapter 3

_(AN: This is a David Bowie songfic – the song is John, I'm Only Dancing. Prior knowledge is not required, because the lyrics are here, but I think listening to it while reading this makes the experience so much better. I do not own John, I'm Only Dancing, or Star Trek, for that matter. Song lyrics are in bold.)_

**Well Annie's pretty neat, she always eats her meat  
>Joey comes on strong, bet your life he's putting us on<br>Oh Lordy, oh Lordy, you know I need some loving  
>Oh move me, touch me<strong>

"Come on, Spock, _please_."

"Jim, I see no reason to humiliate myself."

"_Please_, Spock."

Spock lifted an eyebrow in a gesture designed to drive Jim mad. "I don't dance, Captain."

Kirk rolled his eyes. "Spock, just come dancing with me once. It's shore leave – come and have some fun."

"No, Captain."

"Spock, if you don't what will you do on a Friday night all by yourself?"

"There's some figures I'd like to work on."

Kirk moved from his seat on his bed to the chair next to Spock's. "Spock, you wouldn't dare stay here and do math while I go dancing, would you?"

"No, Jim. I'd prefer you didn't go at all."

"I'm going, Spock – the question is, are you coming with me?"

"Do you need a baby sitter, Captain?"

Jim chuckled. "Probably. Depends how good their brandy is."

Spock looked straight at Jim. "Captain, I suppose I might…come along. I will not dance, however."

Kirk grinned. "We'll see about that. Thanks, Spock!"

Spock inclined his head. His Captain leaned over and kissed him. Then he went to change his clothes. Spock refused to change out of his uniform.

When Kirk came out of the bathroom, Spock raised an eyebrow. "Very dashing, Captain."

"Thank you, Spock." Jim adjusted the sleeves of his suit, which somehow managed to be proper but sexy at the same time.

!*!*!*!

Walking into the club made Spock feel ten times seedier than he ever had. There were no chairs, and the room was filled with people dancing. A big staircase sat off to one side of the room. Kirk was grinning wildly.

"Spock, are you sure you won't dance?"

"No, thank you, Captain. I will be over on the stairs."

"Are you going to watch me?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Very closely, Captain."

Jim chuckled and ran off to get a drink. Spock settled down on a stair to watch.

**John, I'm only dancing  
>She turns me on, but I'm only dancing<br>She turns me on, but don't get me wrong  
>I'm only dancing<strong>

Spock knew what a slow dance meant. He wasn't stupid.

He watched Kirk invite the prettiest girl in the room to dance. He couldn't help but notice his hands on her waist, and her hands around his neck.

Her fingers were just inches from a mark Spock's teeth had made.

!*!*!*!

When the song ended, Spock thought he would be able to relax. A quick tempo song, Terran in origin, played. He frowned as the girl led his Captain back out onto the dance floor. Spock saw Kirk have another drink and cringed.

Watching the dance brought the blood to Spock's cheeks. It was not innocent. It was nearly sex. Spock took no comfort that the girl seemed to begin it all, but was too busy focusing on the fact that Jim allowed her to do so. One of Jim's flaws was that he could never seem to tell when someone was watching him, as Spock was doing now.

Spock's human side was never more pronounced when Kirk was involved. He knew how to make the Vulcan's blood boil. Spock's blood was certainly boiling now.

**Shadow love was quick and clean, life's a well-thumbed machine  
>I saw you watching from the stairs, you're everyone that ever cared<br>Oh Lordy, oh Lordy, you know I need some loving  
>Move me, touch me<strong>

Jim danced happily with the young woman. She – named Alice – was a wonderful dancer, and Kirk enjoyed it.

After a few drinks, Kirk nearly always forgot anything he might have wanted to remember. As such, he had forgotten all about Spock, until he happened to catch sight of him on the stairs.

Spock's face was carefully controlled, but Kirk knew better. He saw the tight fists and the tic of his face. Kirk took a step towards Spock, but Alice handed him another drink and pulled him back on the dance floor.

She continued to grind against him, and Kirk found himself aroused. He could feel the back of his neck heating up, and knew that Spock could tell he was aroused.

When Alice started whispering dirty nothings in his ear, he shushed her. She looked offended, but continued to dance with him.

She kept their dance subdued for a few moments, and then resumed grinding. She grabbed another drink from a passing waiter and handed it to Kirk, who took it.

**John, I'm only dancing  
>She turns me on, but I'm only dancing<br>She turns me on, but don't get me wrong  
>I'm only dancing<strong>

Spock tolerated Kirk and the girl for a few more moments. When she resumed touching Jim, and when Jim's neck started heating up, Spock stood up suddenly. He quickened his pace across the floor, and tapped Kirk's shoulder.

Jim spun around with the drink still in his hand – splashing Alice a little in the process – and found himself face to face with Spock. He paled.

Spock didn't waste time with words and simply propelled Kirk to the bathroom, the only empty place in the club. He took care to lock the door.

Jim drained the last of his drink and bit his lip. "Hi, Spock."

Spock inclined his head. "Captain."

"You're mad at me, aren't you?"

"Anger is a human emotion."

"That's a yes."

Spock said nothing, but raised an eyebrow, as if to say 'how much more obvious do I need to be?'.

"Spock, I'm only dancing."****

**John, I'm only dancing  
>She turns me on, but I'm only dancing<br>She turns me on, but don't get me wrong  
>I'm only dancing<br>**

Spock frowned. "Captain, there is dancing, and there is _that_."

"Spock, you wouldn't dance with me, so I found someone who would."

"Jim, I don't suppose you bothered mentioning me to that _girl_."

"Don't say it like that; she's a nice girl."

"That would be a no."

"Spock, don't be jealous -"

Spock pushed Kirk up against the wall, and pushed his body flush against his Captain's in an impulsive move that made Jim jump.

Spock raised an eyebrow at the confirmation of his suspicions. "Captain; arousal? From the girl or me?"

Jim twisted slightly, not trying to get away, but just wanting to gain some friction. "Spock, she turned me on, yes. But I was just dancing."

"You weren't considering bringing her back to the ship, Captain?"

"Of course not! That's our room."

Spock brought his lips to the Captain's in a frenzied kiss, letting go of Kirk's wrists to grab Jim's shoulders with abandon.

Jim kissed him back, bringing his hands up around the Vulcan's neck. When they broke apart, he was the one to smile first. "Am I forgiven?"

Spock tilted his head. "Perhaps a dance might convince me."

Jim's grin was nearly insufferable, but Spock consented to be led out of the bathroom and onto the dance floor.

**Dancing  
>Won't someone dance with me?<br>Touch me,  
>Ohhh!<strong>

When the girl tried to come and inquire as to why a strange man had dragged her dance partner off, Spock's hostile glare must have convinced her to leave. He frowned with displeasure, even after agreeing, as he was lead onto the dance floor.

Kirk saw this. "Spock, just one dance, and then we'll go home, okay?"

Spock nodded, refusing to admit that he was the tiniest bit afraid.

A slow Terran song played, making Jim grin. Kirk consented to lead, even though Spock was taller. Spock almost enjoyed being led; it was an interesting experience. Giving up control was not something he relished; giving it to Jim might be.

The two made an interesting pair, parading around the floor. Spock was graceful, but didn't know the moves; Kirk knew the moves but was hardly graceful; together they made a passable pair.

When the song ended, Jim, without hesitation, kissed Spock firmly on the lips, enjoying the slight flush of green only he was trained enough to recognize. Spock agreed to stay and let Kirk have a glass of wine with an old acquaintance (only when he was sure the man was firmly heterosexual did he relax). He was surprised to be asked to dance twice more, by a young girl, most likely Terran, although it was hard to tell under her makeup, and a young Starfleet cadet, who seemed to want more advice than to dance. Spock logically explained to each why he didn't wish to dance; the girl went off to find a more willing partner, but the cadet stuck around, going so far as to bring Spock some wine, which he did not drink.

Only when the beamed up to the _Enterprise _and relaxed in _their _room, did Spock really relax. After doing a few calculations, he went to bed, noting that his Captain was already asleep, most likely from the liquor. Spock knew Jim would wake up soon enough, however; horny.

_(AN: New chapter; yeah! I don't have a plan for next chapter, but now that I finished the Ron/Snape challenge – which you should all go read – I'll have more time for this and IPC. I'm still looking for someone who'd be willing to draw something for me – if you're interested, PM me please, and I'll give you a bit more information – and I'd like to keep this story going. If you've got any little things you'd like Kirk and Spock to do, please tell me – I might just write it.)_


	4. Chapter 4

It Is Illogical, But It Is Love

Chapter 4

Kirk prided himself on being a man who, when under pressure, refused to give in and accept defeat. Perhaps he didn't do it calmly, or rationally, but he had some measure of self control.

Or, he'd thought he did.

Who the hell was he kidding; he was impulsive and irrational and he wanted to fuck Spock senseless, whether he was on the bridge or not.

Really, it was unfair, the way the Vulcan oozed sex – and he didn't even seem to be trying! Currently, he was just bent over some instruments, doing some figures and generally being a helpful crewmember, while the Captain sat awkwardly in his chair, fielding questions and trying to deal with his arousal, thank you very much; he didn't have time to do such silly things as talk to Starfleet or decide courses.

All Jim could see of his lover was his ass, and it was a nice view, sure it was, but it was the slightest bit distracting, and his nerves weren't the best right now, so close to Klingon territory. Of course, there was no open hostility, but when had Klingons ever been trustworthy? Now was not a good time to be distracted.

He could always leave the bridge, sneak back to his quarters a little early and take care of the problem, but Spock would _know_, and he would do that eyebrow thing that clearly said how little he thought of the Captain's so-called self-control, and then Kirk would blush and feel out of place. No matter how… passionate Spock was when he got going, there was no doubt that he had a much better hold over himself than Jim did.

He calculated that he had about ten minutes – when he did math, even easy stuff, his inner voice sounded alarmingly like Spock – before he went mad. Whatever biology class said, Kirk still firmly believed that a man could die of blue balls.

Now…how to get himself and Spock off the bridge without being too obvious about it…

Emergency on another deck? Too many questions. He'd have to leave Sulu the com, and he'd certainly contact them.

Medical examinations? One shouldn't involve Bones in anything pertaining to sex, because he had no problem broadcasting it all over the ship, even if it really wasn't news anymore.

Just stand up, announce he was horny and drag Spock off? After the access tube incident, Kirk wasn't sure how much more his reputation as a capable Captain could take.

Spock stood up now, catching Jim's eye. Said Captain nearly died. He stood up slowly. "Mr. Sulu, you have the com." He fled the bridge, heading for his quarters.

"Jim!"

Damn it, Bones. You're a doctor, figure out that I'm about to die and shove off. He tried to turn a corner, but McCoy grabbed his shoulder.

"Damn it, Jim, I'm trying to get your attention."

"_What_, Bones?"

"Someone's in a snit." McCoy looked devious. "Ran off the bridge pretty fast. Your pointy eared friend looked a little…well, I'd say confused if it was anyone else."

"Whatever, Bones; look, I've got to-"

"What was he doing, teasing you on the bridge?"

"_Bones_, I've really got to-"

"That's it, isn't it? God, Jim, you'd think after the access tube scandal that you'd have learned to control yourself; I had to do so much paperwork for Starfleet and assure them that that cadet was still fit for duty and not scarred for life and you're gonna go and do it again?"

"Bones, you're a doctor, not a counselor; now let me go."

"He wasn't even doing anything. I was on the bridge, Jim. He was just bent over some instruments."

"Exactly!"

"It's just his ass, Jim; not like you don't get enough of _that_. You know that they had to reassign the quarters next to yours for someone with less acute hearing? I'm shocked Starfleet hasn't put you in a desk job yet."

Kirk looked longingly at the turbolift's controls, which were sadly covered up by McCoy's hand.

"Captain?"

Damn.

McCoy grinned. "Ah, Spock. Such good timing. Perhaps I'll leave you with Mr. Self-Control here."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Thank you, Doctor."

Kirk stood, eyes closed, mortified. A race that was meant to mate every seven years really didn't get human libido, and Spock, half human or not, still had enough control to go more than a few hours without fucking his partner senseless.

"Captain, is something the matter? You departed the bridge at an alarming rate."

"Well, Spock…you were leaning over those instruments…and it was a nice view…" Shut up, Kirk. Just _shut up_.

"Captain, am I to ascertain that this problem is sexual in nature?"

"Well, I'm only human." He chuckled weakly.

"You have already forgotten last night?"

"I didn't forget _any _of it; that's the problem."

"I see."

"Do you?"

"You were…aroused by me."

"I'm always _aroused _by you, Spock. You're you. Do you even try?"

"Try what, Captain?"

"I thought not."

Kirk shuffled awkwardly. Spock looked as unruffled as always.

"Spock?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Are you busy?"

"Captain, I am always busy."

Jim began rhythmically bumping his head against the wall. "Too busy to come back to our room with me?"

"Captain, it is the middle of the day."

"Quit calling me Captain."

"Jim, it's not even lunch yet."

"Well, I'm horny anyway."

Spock raised an eyebrow and let Kirk squirm for a moment. "All right, Captain. Allow me." He opened the door to the turbolift.

Kirk nearly fell over trying to get into it fast enough.

!*!*!*!

Starfleet knew that, when Uhura used that tone of voice, to wait a while before calling back. No one was stupid enough to miss what was going on, so they sighed and tried to stop the higher-ups from reassigning Kirk because he was unfit for duty.

The psychiatrist had the worst of it – he had to counsel that poor cadet, who still couldn't look Kirk and Spock in the face.

_(AN: Not sure how I feel about this installment, but here it is. Next time – maybe the famed access tube scandal itself?)_


	5. Chapter 5

It Is Illogical, But It Is Love

Chapter 5

_(AN: I know I promised the Jefferies tube incident, but that will be next. I'm doing Milwordy starting today – July 20, 2011 – so expect more writing than usual! Enjoy!)_

"Spock, it's easy."

"It's an absurd Earth game, that's what it is."

"Come on, it'll be fun."

"I doubt it highly."

Kirk pulled Spock into the new bowling alley in the Enterprise. The two - or Kirk, really - got shoes and balls and picked a lane.

Jim bowled first. He grinned when he got a strike. "See, Spock, it's EASY."

"I don't see any reason to make a complete fool out of myself for your amusement." He sniffed, trying to keep his face impassive, but failed when Jim kissed him.

"Captain, need I remind you we are in a public setting, and that I have told you several times to-"

"Just like I've told you to relax and have a little fun. Come on."

"You can't be serious."

"I am."

Spock stood up slowly, with dignity, refusing to admit that his Captain's puppy dog eyes had anything to do with his decision. He cast an appraising eye at the lane.

When he had been standing there for several minutes, Jim laughed. "Spock, throw the ball!"

"I am aware of what to do, I merely thought that it would be best to calculate the angle at which to 'throw the ball,' in order to gain the highest probability of knocking down all the pins."

Kirk roared with laughter. "Spock, math isn't fun."

He cocked his head. "On the contrary. I find math most ... stimulating."

Kirk chuckled. "I'll show you stimulating ... throw the ball."

Spock hurriedly finished his calculations and rolled the ball down the lane. Halfway to the pins, it rolled into the gutter.

Kirk roared with laughter again. "Maybe this isn't your game, Spock."

"I assure you, Captain, I have no desire to be good at this so called game. It is an-"

"Absurd Earth invention created to compensate for some mental problem or deficiency, I know."

Spock raised an eyebrow.

Kirk grinned. "I listen to you!"

"Quite, Captain."

"Jim, Spock. I'm not on duty."

"You are still a Captain of an USS starship, and the _Enterprise_ at that. You deserve respect."

Kirk rolled his eyes. "Respect, my ass. Let's go. You get to bowl again."

Spock raised an eyebrow. He picked up the ball and examined it carefully. He inserted his fingers into the holes and tested the weight. He did another quick calculation in his head and gently rolled the ball down the lane.

Kirk watched it avidly, only tearing his eyes away to look at Spock, who really looked far too nice sticking his fingers in those holes.

The ball rolled straight into the center of the pins, and all ten fell down.

Kirk's mouth dropped. "How did you do that?"

"Simple, Captain. I merely finished my calculation."

"I'm really glad you're my Science Officer."

An eyebrow raise. "Thank you, Captain."

The two bowled competitively, Kirk shooting for luck and Spock sticking with math.

With one pin remaining for Kirk and one frame left for Spock, the game was neck and neck.

"Captain, you have a minute chance of knocking over that pin, taking into account the size of the ball, the strength you throw it with, the size of the pin and the size of the gutter."

"Let me concentrate, Spock." Jim frowned.

"Of course, Captain."

"_Jim_, Spock."

"Alright, Jim. Kindly bowl."

"You just want to beat me, you damn genius," Jim muttered.

"Excuse me, Captain?" Spock cocked his head infuriatingly.

"Like you didn't hear me; you've aced your hearing test every time you've taken it."

"Forgive me, Captain."

Kirk rolled his eyes and got ready to bowl. He sent the ball rolling down the lane, closed his eyes and crossed his fingers. He didn't hear it fall.

"A miss, Captain. Kindly sit so I may take my last turn."

Kirk backed up to give Spock room. He thought for a minute, then grinned.

He sidled up back behind Spock. "You know, I've always loved your fingers."

"Captain, we are in a public place; please stop rubbing my fingers like that. I am trying to compute figures."

Kirk continued to drape himself over Spock and rub his fingers. "You're sticking your fingers into those holes - it's damn hot, I think."

"Captain, please-"

Kirk pressed himself a little closer to Spock and grinned at the slight shake he saw in Spock.

"And your ears. They're lovely, you know."

"My ears are a part of my biology; how they can be 'lovely,' I don't know. Now, Captain, I really must insist you let me finish my figures so I may-"

"If we're using that rule then I can't think any of you is hot."

"Again, Captain, it is a anatomical shape."

"What about your cock?"

A light green flush started to spread over the back of Spock's neck. "Captain-"

"Jim, Spock; considering I'm talking about your prick you could be a little more informal."

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Jim, are we not playing a game?"

"Bowl whenever, Spock, I'm not stopping you."

Spock, in order to keep his dignity as a Vulcan intact, had to appear as if he wasn't bothered by this dirty talk in his ear, and tried to finish his figures. His human half, however, seemed to nearly always control the part of his anatomy Jim was still whispering about, and made it very hard to concentrate. He bowled carefully, and managed to knock down four pins.

"You need all six left to tie the game, Spock. Any less and you lose."

When had this simple Earth game began to feel like a life or death situation to win? Spock took several deep breaths, inhibited slightly by Kirk leaning over him, and bowled again.

The ball rolled agonizingly slowly down the lane, and Jim and Spock both hoped it would go their way. It hit one pin, which in turn knocked down another...

Four.

Five total pins fell. The game was Jim's by one pin.

Spock turned towards his Captain, still draped over the Vulcan. "An excellent game, Captain."

Kirk kissed Spock hard, right there in full view of everyone.

_(AN: Please review!)_


	6. Chapter 6

It Is Illogical, But It Is Love

Chapter 6

_(AN: The access tube scandal mentioned in chapter four. It takes place somewhere between their relationship being made public and chapter four; as always, the timeline is sketchy at best. And, yes, I made up a word later. Ten unredeemable points if you find it. It's not t'hy'la, by the way – that is a real word. This fic is partially inspired by a fic I read about Spock and McCoy in an access tube, but the similarities end there. __.net/s/5560389/1/Jefferies_Tube__ There it is, by the way.)_

Kirk turned a corner, giggling madly. Spock, subdued as ever, followed him.

"Captain, may I inquire as to our destination?"

"Spock, can't I just have a little fun?"

"Your _fun_ often ends badly, Captain."

Kirk stopped near a hatch to an access tube. "Quit calling me Captain. Wait till you hear what I've got in mind…"

"I begin to sense that this will be what the good Doctor calls 'a hard sell.'"

"Come on, Spock; it'll be fun."

"Kindly explain what you wish to do."

Kirk grinned. "Alright. We're on the bottom deck of the ship, right?"

"Affirmative, Captain. I am still unsure of why, however." Spock raised an eyebrow as Kirk began to giggle again.

"I'm getting to that. So, if we open this door, what will we find?"

Spock glanced at the door. "An access tube; a small and cramped cylinder."

"Yes. Now here's what I want to do." Kirk leaned up and whispered in Spock's ears.

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "Captain, you woke me up in the middle of the night to have a sexual encounter in an access tube barely large enough for one man, let alone two?"

Kirk kept grinning, despite Spock's tone. "Yep."

"I believe I was correct in my earlier pronouncement; this will indeed be a 'hard sell.'"

Kirk rolled his eyes. "Come on! It'll be fun."

"I fail to understand why it was necessary to come all the way down here, when we could have simply done the act you wish much more comfortably in the barracks."

Kirk's face fell slightly. "Spock…"

"Come, Captain; whining does not suit you."

"That's what I want to do."

Spock lifted an eyebrow at the bad innuendo.

Kirk opened the door to the access tube. "It's not that small."

"There is a rather large ladder that one of us would be unfortunate to lean upon."

"I'll do it, if it'll make you uncomfortable."

Spock raised both eyebrows. "I highly doubt any position in this tube will be _comfortable_, and there is no reason to subject yourself to extra pain on my account."

"Spock-"

"And we would have to _stand_, Captain. If considered logically, and not as a scheme, this is a very bad idea. There is also the possibility we could be discovered, as engineers and crew use this tube at all times of the night-"

"Spock, that's the fun of it!" Kirk blushed slightly.

Spock raised an eyebrow and stared down his Captain. "The pitfalls of a human t'hy'la, I suppose."

Kirk blushed again.

"Have I told you the meaning of that word?" Kirk shook his head, still blushing. Spock tipped his head sideways. "It means brother and friend… along with lover, soul mate, and live-long companion."

Jim bit his lip to keep the huge grin from exploding onto his face. "And which definition fits this context?"

An eyebrow. "One of the latter, I should hope, as I do not partake in incestual relations."

Kirk grinned.

Spock allowed his eyebrow to relax. He gestured widely. "After you, Captain."

Kirk hurried in, still grinning madly. As they were on the lowest deck, there was a floor and a slightly wider area than the rest of the tube, but when Spock stepped in, it was still very tight. Kirk spun around so he was facing Spock and against the ladder, and found Spock's face just inches from his own. Kirk swallowed heavily, finally getting past the fun and into the arousal. Spock's muscles were taught as he reached past Kirk for the ladder and grabbed a rung firmly.

Kirk kissed Spock then, and they fell into their familiar rhythm in this unfamiliar place, and as always, between kisses, Kirk murmured, "Fuck me," and Spock didn't hesitate to pull Kirk's trousers down, sparing a moment for his prick, and turn Jim around gently.

Jim braced himself against the ladder and looked over his shoulder at Spock unbuckling his belt and sliding his trousers down, getting stuck for a minute at the shoes neither had bothered to take off. Spock was naked from the waist down and he leaned in for another kiss, then pulled off his shirt. Kirk's was still on, but it was too late now, as Spock's fingers were gently teasing his hole, and Kirk gasped to get on with it, _now_, and Spock consented, and pressed in agonizingly slowly. Kirk's head dropped against the rung of the ladder with a clang, and Spock pressed his lips against Jim's neck.

"Alright, Captain?" Even in the formal words, a light shake was evident in Spock's tones.

Jim nodded, past anything but 'yes's and 'god's.

As such, both were far too interested in Spock's thrusts to hear the door slide open, and only turned around at the gasp from the cadet.

Spock had enough dignity to pull out and put his trousers on, handing Kirk his as well, but the poor cadet was long gone by this point, probably to request a transfer to a ship that wasn't as crazy as the _Enterprise_.

Kirk and Spock exchanged glances and wordlessly headed for Kirk's room.

!*!*!*!

McCoy appeared furiously on the bridge the next morning, shouting about why the hell did he have to do this much damn paperwork all because Jim and his Vulcan couldn't keep it in their pants, or their quarters, and about how that cadet had requested transfer, so Mr. Sulu, start plotting a course so we can drop the poor son of a bitch off, and ignore the Captain if he says otherwise.

Kirk and Spock exchanged another glance, Kirk blushing and Spock impassive.

Kirk stopped suggesting odd places to have sex.

_(AN: Hope you enjoyed this! If you're reading IPC as well, know that I am attempting to finish the next chapter, but I'm slightly stuck, so it might be a while longer. Milwordy is going well.)_


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